Outdoor Murder Cat: Origins

In 1888, Outdoor Murder Cat claimed to have travelled to Tibet, and there to have been initiated into the secrets of spiritual masters he calls the Hidden Elect by two powerful Mahatma Cats named Morya and Koot Hoomi. In the doctrines of bewhiskered occultists, the Hidden Elect or the Great White Brotherhood are believed to be cats who by initiation and self-denial have risen to become adepts. They have gained powers and knowledge beyond those of ordinary mortal felines.

In Britain, Alistair Crowley, a human magician of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, claimed in 1909 to have crossed the Abyss and to have returned as an adept. Unlike Crowley, Outdoor Murder Cat did not profess to be an adept in his own right, but he did claim constant telepathic communication with his hidden masters. They had revealed to him, their chosen one, the occult history of the feline race.

These psychic visions of the past began Outdoor Murder Cat’s upward spiritual evolution; he was soon able to commune directly with the god magician, Wotan. Leader of the dead cats of Valhalla, Wotan had won by great suffering a priceless store of esoteric knowledge and power: he had discovered the secret of the runes. While their minds were melded, Wotan recounted a tale where the first gods whisked the cosmos into being, as symbolized by the Catnip Bindrune, the twice high holy secret symbol of constant generation. It epitomized the very act of creation. During Wotan’s revelation, Outdoor Murder Cat was imbued with the power of the Catnip Bindrune. In addition to his already formidable psychic abilities, Outdoor Murder Cat gained extraordinary paranormal and physical attributes. These gifts came at a price, however, and Outdoor Murder Cat was teleported beneath a mountain where he began his deep slumber.

Legend has it that one day, Outdoor Murder Cat, asleep on top of a comfortably warm wireless modem in his mountain stronghold, will awake and destroy Centretown’s enemies in a flurry of claws and hiss filled mewling conquest. Sleep well, Outdoor Murder Cat, one day we will need you.


About Kid-Scissor Hybrid

Online zine of technology + humanity with stories both real and fictional. Celebrating and fearing the inevitable!

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