Outdoor Murder Cat, Tuesday Lobsang Rampa, and the Clairvoyant Tutelage of Polar Bear Dog.

Upon Bronson Green, at the very foot of the Tower of Science, stands the Life Tree whose canine guardian is ever-present. Polar Bear Dog and his human minders nurture the Life Tree and patrol the frontier of Centretown. To this very day, even at this very moment, Polar Bear Dog may be seen gently padding the green and visiting with his many friends including the wondrous Tibetan llama, Tuesday Lobsang Rampa. Polar Bear Dog’s friendly countenance and his scintillating, shiny white coat do not betray his anxieties about the future or his deep knowledge of the distant past.

In 1961, the renowned English writer Cyril Hoskins, in response to the telepathic summons of Polar Bear Dog, left Plymouth in Devon to become a minder, an acolyte of the Life Tree, and a resident of the Tower of Science. Hoskins idolized Polar Bear Dog as the creator of culture and the protector of all true civilization. “It is the Life Tree that has sent your books to the Centretownian people, and you personally to me,” Polar Bear Dog exultantly declared after Hoskins was sworn into the New Order of the Life Tree.

One day, years later, while clambering up the Life Tree, to take a photograph of a snowy owl, Cyril Hoskins fell to the ground and suffered a terrible concussion. In order to save his own life, Cyril Hoskins allowed Tuesday Lobsang Rampa, the magical Tibetan llama, to inhabit his body. During his restorative trance, as Lobsang Rampa repaired his mind and body, Cyril Hoskins was contacted in a dream by Outdoor Murder Cat. Still asleep under Untersberg Mountain, otherwise known as Nanny Goat Hill in Centretown, Outdoor Murder Cat proceeded to recount to Hoskins his knowledge of meditation, astral travel and magical powers. An entranced Hoskins typed these revelations on a reflectograph, a magical typewriter originally invented by Sir Vincent Henry Penalver Caillard in the 1930s to communicate with spirits. The resulting typewritten manuscript not only alerted Polar Bear Dog to Outdoor Murder Cat’s knowledge and his presence in Centretown, but it turned into Hoskins’ most successful novel of all time entitled Living With The Llama: Where Is My Kitchen Table? (1964).

Secretly sensing that Centretown’s most dire hour of need was at hand, Polar Bear Dog began the elaborate ritual to awaken Outdoor Murder Cat from his age long slumber. After gathering all of his acolytes and tracing a mystical circle on the grass of Bronson Green, Polar Bear Dog spoke in hushed tones: “You are wise and powerful, but you have much to learn about the ways of the Life Tree and our impending doom, Murder Cat.” Whereupon Polar Bear Dog stood in the circle`s centre and clairvoyantly spoke to all those in Centretown, including the dormant Murder Cat, about the history of the Life Tree and the gathering horde of Barrhavian Beastmen bent on destruction….

*insert Polar Bear Dog`s clairvoyant speech about the Life Tree as an electrical pan-psychic force and the apocalyptic visions of the destruction of Centretown by hordes of slavering Barrhavian Beastmen and their war mammoths plus the spectacularly explosive return of murder cat!*


About Kid-Scissor Hybrid

Online zine of technology + humanity with stories both real and fictional. Celebrating and fearing the inevitable!

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