Walken Cooks – Hinternet Who’s Who



“Man Christopher Walken Makes Chicken with Pears”, a Response



“To cook this chicken I’ve got this really cool…French… thing.”


Cooking with Walken,

his modest kitchen vaguely ridiculous

simply for its being Walken’s, and

Walken’s toothpicks, Walken’s Cuisinart,

Walken’s penny-splitting surgical stainless steel knives,

the peculiar need which stole over Walken that evening

to share his chicken & pear recipe with the hinternet:


“And those little caps… they get like little cookies… I save them.”


Animal Collective - Alexis Bannoff and Jeff Dunn









The naked chicken slipping out of Walken’s grip into the sink;

Walken selecting another from the rows in his walk-in freezer.

Walken burning his thumb on the pan, hissing


Walken editing this out of his seamless three minute cook

on Final Cut Pro, in his underwear:


“What I do is I take some of this… fat. And I cut that off.”


Walken’s irritable prostate forcing three toilet trips

before the upload bar fills.

Walken’s missing codec; confoundment,

Walken’s tank-end drip of old pee.

Walken finally calling his nephew

to come help him with this damn machine,

Walken the younger zipping up his windbreaker,

finding in this business

nothing remarkable whatsoever.

The Judge - Dr Fetus



About Kid-Scissor Hybrid

Online zine of technology + humanity with stories both real and fictional. Celebrating and fearing the inevitable!


  1. Ma

    Waaaay too much salt, Chris. And you contaminated everything you touched with your chicken fingers. Don’t want to eat at your place.

  2. Pingback: Kid-Scissor Hybrid Radio | Kid-Scissor Hybrid

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: